He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
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