hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Bring me that man meat
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
