i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
