I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
