there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
