I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
