Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Only a mothe r could love this liver
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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