I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Randomize
