Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
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