You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Randomize
