Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
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