btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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