Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Randomize
