I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Randomize