what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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