Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
No subtext here. People are naked.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
you had me at cake vodka
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Randomize
