Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Randomize
