I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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