grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
