i think i have herpe
just one?
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Randomize
