Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
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