Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
You need a sexual gate keeper
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Randomize