she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize