i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
did i just pee glitter
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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