There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
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I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
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I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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