So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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