My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Randomize
