Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize
