It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Randomize