They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
So much Jack, so little girl.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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