my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
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