Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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