i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Randomize
