Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
People with herpes should wear stickers.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Randomize