hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Randomize
