You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
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