Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
