I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize