can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
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