You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
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