but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
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