Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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