We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
did i walk over a car last night?
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
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