Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
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