I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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