I feel like abortions should bother me more
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
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