just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
