Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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