Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
