Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
What drink are we having for lunch?
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
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