I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
you would pick up someone in the library
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Randomize
