Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
