It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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