East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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