that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
im holly from the hills drunk
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
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i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
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No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk