Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.