wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
These 21 Drunks Said The Darndest Things
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
These 25 Irresponsible People Blew All Their Cash On Drugs, Booze, & Sex
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.