I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
