i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Randomize
