I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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