Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Randomize
