quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Randomize