put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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