i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Randomize